The Captain's Blog
As dictated into a Super Literary Unifying Transmitter
Captain's Log, 1001.3.
Temporarily Assigned Space Corporal Smith has been with us now for almost three whole minutes. When we get back to Earth I'll be putting in papers to give him a promotion, as he’s the longest lasting Temporarily Assigned Space Corporal yet! We'll make him an Official Space Corporal very soon!
While on route to the Moon we discovered a hole in space. Dickie wanted us to just go around it, but being the Captain, it was up to me to take charge and investigate every hole in the Galaxy without discretion.
When we got there we found the hole was occupied by a Space Slug! I hate those things! It attacked our ship and is now trying to pull us into the sun! At least I think that’s what it’s trying to do – although I got an “A” in Space Slug Translation back at Space Marshal University (Class of ’43) somehow I can’t understand its menacing growls. It must be a dialect – man, if there’s one thing I hate more than Space Slugs, it’s ignorant Space Slugs with funny accents!
What will I do? I will not have one more Space Marshall lost on my watch! Wait! I have an idea – I’ll send Temporarily Assigned Space Corporal Smith outside to try to climb inside the Slug’s mouth and insert a small explosive device in the Slug’s throat! No doubt that will work! I know others aboard are jealous of my grace under pressure and strategic acumen…but that’s why I’m the captain
-Space Marshal Captain Bucky